Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Church


Author: expiring_touch
ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 139 /260 /173
Words: 12
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1137
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 80



Description:




Church



Rush hour: sunlit
Heads shift halos
In the specks of dust.




Submitted on 2012-09-29 12:04:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This paints a big picture in just three lines here. Everytime I go to church I felt this goodness within and the people around me seems very peaceful and welcoming. But after the Mass, the devil took the halo and I'm back to my old self as if nothing worthwhile just happened.

This one works well, had some deep realizations for the reader. Good job

Jen
| Posted on 2012-10-02 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
  
| Posted on 2012-10-02 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
  I guess I shift mine a little on the increasingly rare occasions I show up at a church. ;)

Lloyd
| Posted on 2012-10-01 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



196107