theres too much about this that i like.
it seems as jumpy as a mexican bean and yet totally coherent and perfect too.
clear the mechanism.
the first obvious mechanism that springs to mind is the mind.
theres always so much going on to distract you from whats really important.
sometimes you need to push the refresh button.
sometimes you need to push the delete button.
sometimes its snooze, hibernate, restart.
CTRL ALT DELETE
if only it were that easy for our brains right?
over thinking over active mechanism
there is a lot of pointers to meditation in here.
peace. focus on the now. clear the mind. infinite.
my friend asked if i could help her with her phd by attending yoga classes she was taking. at the end there was a thing called yoga nedra and it was a relaxation meditation type thing.
most incredible 30minutes of my life.
i found myself counting down the days till i could go back and do it again.
i cannot shut myself down ever. theres always something somewhere niggling away and yet while doing this mediation thing [which is completely NOT what im normally attracted to] my body would melt and my brain would shut up and i could just breathe and be.
peace comes when you let it
peace comes when you believe.
this is very shallow in my opinion. i can see what you're trying to get at with what you have written, but you haven't used the right words, or depth of words to make what you're trying to convey original or memorable to the reader.
that being said, i do see potential here or else i wouldn't be commenting. some people tend to get off on just telling people how much they suck and moving along on this site it seems.
i would try to step back and reflect on what you want to convey in this poem for yourself and also what you want to convey to anyone who happens by to read it. i think if you reflect on it you will find different ways and different words to improve your poem and feel more satisfied with your creation.
but, and i want to stress this, if after reflection you are completely content with what you have written and don't feel that it needs or can be improved, please don't change a thing.
at the end of the day i'm just the receiver and you're the creator and how your poetry lives and works is by your design - i'm just trying to give you constructive feedback.
I have a great deal of respect for this cybernetics prognostication. I too have hope for the dawn. I've been living this for the better part of my life. However it did not bring me peace. Perhaps a desire to sequester my life to the world of on it did. But I am corporeally preternatural not ethereally sublime and although I like to feel I have an affinity for infinite conception I feel I am a finite being (no omnipresent omniscience). But, though I like to think self awareness is a little bit ubiquitous personably speaking, I also like to think a concerted effort could bring about change, After all the more who accept subjugation the easier subjugation will become, therefore I sort of like this........ Dream on, we'll all be philanthropically phenological with our humanitarian instincts and maybe we can convince all those cyborg appliances to accede. Without this we can only pretend. To which I say "Fat chance Mithrandir. We better prepare for battle, peace must be earned in this hell, for it will never be offered freely."