Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Addiction dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Fanfic/Passion
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1064



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAddiction dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The time has come; you are unraveling before my very eyes
    Your soon to be frail image haunts me throughout my days
    For I have seen you at your darkest moments
    I know what is awaiting for you and I

    If I choose to follow your most certain end

    You are unraveling at the seams
    You are bursting out for all "that was"
    Throwing all "that is" away

    You're unraveling may very possibly be the undoing of myself
    But ... Only time will tell

    My portrait of our fairy tale life only lasted three months...
    Here you are back on a slippery slope
    I need to decide now

    Do I follow?
    Do I walk away?

    For you are unraveling at a slow yet steady pace
    One choice today leads to an opportunity tomorrow
    One false move now
    Can land you on your face tomorrow

    A slippery slope we live upon
    Its apart of battling addiction
    Its apart of everyday life




    Submitted on 2012-10-03 17:52:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Once again, there is so much pain, and love in your writing. And forgiveness for everyone but yourself. I agree with the previous comment the first line has a hook, but the rest of it captures the heart and twists it right along yours.

    Whatever the outcome remember, addiction is the thing that's in control of the ones we love sometimes..., and that addiction hurts us through them, and can rip through them at the very core like an atom bomb... Without someone to stand strong beside them, loving them, and reminding them that, they can be accepted .....they may never break free.

    I am always touched by the struggle inside the heart of one of the strongest, most beautiful and talented people I have ever met. And how blind to the strength that lies inside she really is.

    ......but is always so apparent in everything you write.


    Heather
    | Posted on 2012-10-09 00:00:00 | by trynfinity | [ Reply to This ]
      o like the first stanza very much sort of a hook in there. this was a goof write.
    | Posted on 2012-10-04 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196137

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Dream written by closetpoet
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Live In Between written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry