Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 583
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 339



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Youíre a junkie an addict
    Addicted
    to got to have it.
    No choices
    for your pleasure
    Is not found, in elusive treasure.

    Youíre desperate and crying.
    Something inside is broken
    and lying.
    Itís telling you
    this is not sick
    it is truly
    love.




    Submitted on 2012-10-05 01:15:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great enjambment in this poem, really highlights the feeling underlying the thing and allows it to be read multiple ways.

    I always delight in your photos, I think you have great instincts when it comes to pairing your words with a pic. Here though, all I can think is: how the hell do women wear those things?! I was always a tomboy though.

    I really like the play on lovesick at the end. Very nice poem.
    | Posted on 2012-10-06 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196146

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Drink written by jjd
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Incubus written by monad
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    This written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry