Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 573
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 339



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Youíre a junkie an addict
    Addicted
    to got to have it.
    No choices
    for your pleasure
    Is not found, in elusive treasure.

    Youíre desperate and crying.
    Something inside is broken
    and lying.
    Itís telling you
    this is not sick
    it is truly
    love.




    Submitted on 2012-10-05 01:15:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great enjambment in this poem, really highlights the feeling underlying the thing and allows it to be read multiple ways.

    I always delight in your photos, I think you have great instincts when it comes to pairing your words with a pic. Here though, all I can think is: how the hell do women wear those things?! I was always a tomboy though.

    I really like the play on lovesick at the end. Very nice poem.
    | Posted on 2012-10-06 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196146

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The World written by jjd
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry