Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Try and Stop Me!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 676
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 845



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTry and Stop Me!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Death tried to stop me mid-run
    somewhere south of Chicago.
    But I ran the red
    said catch up with me in bed
    today I got to travel.
    The envelope is sealed shut around my ears.
    Mystery is the sum of all my tears.
    I am sitting perched on the edge of
    poetry. And I am waiting to see if pushing
    breaks my look. Then lookout below
    because for sure I am going to jump.

    I say cauterize my eyes I can't make
    the pictures stop.
    I got dynamite for brains.
    Have you got a light?
    All the while it turns out to be true.
    Our plan was conceived by libertines
    And dedicated too
    To the proposition
    that it is a man's true
    nature to pursue
    The Lady In Pink.








    Submitted on 2012-10-05 01:25:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      these lines stand out for me,
    " I got dynamite for brains
    Have you got a light"
    These was really cool lines.

    I like the fact that you mentioned "Chicago", it has made the poem enticing, and that this actually happened. Made me want to know what happened more there. This point here makes me want to know where its heading.
    lovely;-)
    | Posted on 2012-10-05 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196147

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Incubus written by monad
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry