Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Try and Stop Me!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 845



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTry and Stop Me!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Death tried to stop me mid-run
    somewhere south of Chicago.
    But I ran the red
    said catch up with me in bed
    today I got to travel.
    The envelope is sealed shut around my ears.
    Mystery is the sum of all my tears.
    I am sitting perched on the edge of
    poetry. And I am waiting to see if pushing
    breaks my look. Then lookout below
    because for sure I am going to jump.

    I say cauterize my eyes I can't make
    the pictures stop.
    I got dynamite for brains.
    Have you got a light?
    All the while it turns out to be true.
    Our plan was conceived by libertines
    And dedicated too
    To the proposition
    that it is a man's true
    nature to pursue
    The Lady In Pink.








    Submitted on 2012-10-05 01:25:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      these lines stand out for me,
    " I got dynamite for brains
    Have you got a light"
    These was really cool lines.

    I like the fact that you mentioned "Chicago", it has made the poem enticing, and that this actually happened. Made me want to know what happened more there. This point here makes me want to know where its heading.
    lovely;-)
    | Posted on 2012-10-05 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196147

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Outlaw
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry