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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Song in My Lifedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: irrelevantme
    Elite Ratio:    2.91 - 83/89/62
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Friendship
    Total Views: 554
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 750



    Description:
       for my bestfriend .. I miss her so much


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Song in My Lifedots
    -------------------------------------------


    brought together by a movie,
    bond strengthened by song
    seatmates, friends, sometimes enemies
    understanding, accepting
    imperfections & wrongs

    alike but never the same
    at times crazy, sometimes sane
    walked with me
    through the halls of high school
    knew every worry and 'kilig'

    not a day went that we don't share,
    duets when the teacher isn't there
    we sing every chance we got,
    Music? Oh we love it a lot!

    now, we have surpassed
    those familiar halls;
    new one's we now take

    here, and an airtravel away,

    but still, 'til now
    we sing together everyday




    Submitted on 2012-10-07 03:43:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really like the wording in this, it's nostalgic...

    only problem lies in the tenses...lots of switching of present and past...it is a bit distracting, but can easily be remedied by changing some of the verbs to make it consistent.

    i had a best friend, we used to sing together at work...harmonize...some said we sounded pretty good...this reminded me of her...

    we lost her about 4 yeas ago...way too soon..such a sweetie...

    but good memories evoked by this.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-10-22 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      It seems you are an incurable romantic. :) Not exactly my cup of tea but I appreciate the word flow. You really have good skills.
    | Posted on 2012-10-07 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice! I used to write for my friends too, always before. I love the word "kilig" by the way. Ah! I remember these times, all the way to hig hschool. Thanks for sharing,this bring back memories, good ones.;-)
    | Posted on 2012-10-07 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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