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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beyond the Barsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mxadrienne
    Elite Ratio:    3.55 - 3/4/2
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 821



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeyond the Barsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Raindrops hit the window pane like a thousand bullets.
    It's almost as if there's a war going on outside,
    but the only enemy you're fighting
    are the restless thoughts in your head,
    trapped in its embrace.

    I felt like a prisoner;
    never knowing that arms locked in a hug
    could feel so much like the walls of a jail cell.

    I'm bound to faithlessness,
    to hope hanging on to the mercy of pinky promises.

    I wish I could forget--
    that memories could burn as easily as letters,
    easily ripped to pieces like pictures,
    and that trust could be easily be stitched back in me with silver linings.

    I wish I could find the key
    to find the clarity beyond the bars of this cell.




    Submitted on 2012-10-08 09:02:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is amazing love how you used the metaphor with war and raindrops... I can easily relate to this post!!

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2012-10-11 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      "memories could burn as easily as letters"

    that is some nice phrasing...

    it's "window pane"

    "trapped in its embrace"

    but a nice metaphor in this.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-10-08 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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    January 10 07
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