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    dots Submission Name: Lostdots

    Author: jjd
    ASL Info:    20/male/Griffin, Ga.
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 20/78/34
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1149
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 359


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    As the sun dimmed down, the moment of our time escapes the face of the earth, it tries to find the middle ground.
    I walk through the emptiness of whats left of the world. Farther and father through time i can't find whats part of me.
    As I fall into the black hole of whats within me, I see no end.
    Forever lost, forever no light

    Submitted on 2012-10-08 15:47:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      K first, do you wish to fiddle with your poetry at all. Would you be interested in buffing stuff up format wise or flow...anything?
    Or do you just prefer thoughts and comments on the piece?

    Good stuff to know. For future reference.

    This was heartfelt in the way I hear your anguish and feelings of isolation.

    As the sun dimmed down, the moment of our time escapes the face of the earth, it tries to find the middle ground

    The thought is clear and it is clever...our time escapes the face of the earth...is this a past love or of breaking up or are you saying our is in everyone collectively?


    I would like to help you just tighten this up a bit..it is a diamond in the rough...polishing will bring forth the shine

    Peace yo!

    | Posted on 2014-06-02 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great ! Definitely something I can relate to . Now , I see this as a way of you saying you're lost in yourself ? Which is EXACTLY how I feel right now ! Of course , that's just how I interpreted it . Great write , keep it up !
    | Posted on 2012-10-08 00:00:00 | by unwantedlove20 | [ Reply to This ]

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