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    dots Submission Name: For My Fatherdots

    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 767
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 686


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor My Fatherdots

    There is a certain magic hour, at a certain time of year, 
    that's made especially for sharing. In the quiet 

    of an early winter morning, we find ourselves pouring out
    a pot of coffee with the other, and the talk turns warm

    and honest and deep.  Perhaps because the sun is not up,
    or because no one else is around, we stand on a porch

    or balcony or bank, overlooking a lake or valley 
    or ice-choked stream, and we agree that God is good.

    That's the kind of morning I will choose to share with you
    the last thing that I have left to do for you -
    the sprinkling of your ashes.

    Submitted on 2012-10-10 05:29:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Beautiful Annie,--hadn't read this one yet---and somehow just "found" it at an hour when I have been thinking about nmy own parents, long departed---I am writing some "reflections" on them and others in my past--mostly for my children--but also because some of those departed folks--are very insistent in the wee hours--that I continue writing
    There is a quiet eloquence here, understated deep emotions, --a powerful undercurrent for the simple intimate moments that a father-daughter might share, that explode full blown in the last lines. Very well crafted, sincere and compelling.

    I am a FAN!

    Sometime try to read my" Reflections"--not for comments--just so you know how I relate so well to this.
    | Posted on 2014-04-02 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so very nice. I read it awhile back but didn't stop to comment.

    I'm wondering if you could sharpen the last 3 lines somewhat. Actually what gives me pause is the 'will choose', I wonder why not just 'choose'. I love the way the whole thing comes around to that final punch at the end .

    cheers, Chris
    | Posted on 2012-10-21 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      there is something about a father/daughter relationship---

    a certain closeness only understood by them.

    i really like the line about the coffee, and the talk turning warm...


    | Posted on 2012-10-10 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this poem! It is soo well written, and there are very nice visual elements offered that speak to the heart of the piece. "In the quiet of an early winter morning" makes me feel as though I am not adrift in the piece, and it gives me a deep sense of inner calm, which is mirrored throughout the poem. Furthermore, I think it is highly important that the revelation of sprinkling ashes is kept until the last line because therein lies its full impact. For most of the lines I felt as though I was standing with another person, only to find that that person is no longer alive, which is more telling of the speaker's connection to him.

    My favorite line is: "...and we agree that God is good." It is so powerful in its simplicity.

    Great job! I will enjoy reading more of your pieces!
    | Posted on 2012-10-10 00:00:00 | by Anneboleyn707 | [ Reply to This ]

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