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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ashesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 497
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 334



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAshesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Had it been snow, or ashes
    drifting
    down my newborn page
    of busstop poetry?

    Gaze up these bars, behind the
    ice cream cones of your
    snug little cage - -

    silently
    tip-toe to me

    as I dream
    in my pain-free boat

    rocking.




    Submitted on 2012-10-10 06:02:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      busstop poetry? :) Haha I know exactly what you mean. Here is a haiku of mine that almost fits under that category, it's more like subway poetry though :D

    I wrote this poem
    underground, barely breathing
    squeezed by two fat chicks
    | Posted on 2012-10-10 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      I find this piece interesting. It has a lot of words such as "busstop poetry" that are put together in unconventional ways and display an ability to fashion something highly unique and meaningful. Furthermore, I can sense a metaphor emerging that I would like to see developed in more detail. I have no problem with short poems, but this one feels like it could and should be expanded upon to have a full impact on the reader as to the subject. Honestly though, great job! Keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2012-10-10 00:00:00 | by Anneboleyn707 | [ Reply to This ]


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