(No Spam mail)
3.27 - 106/182/66
No vote yet.
inspired by an article I read.
i cannot replace the thrill
of cloak and dagger love,
can't go back to simple times
since she fell from above
with all those pretty words
and the attention that I need.
I wasn't ready for the fear
and panic it would breed.
always watchful of my phone,
terrified i might be caught
and scared to fight the battle that
could render everything for naught.
i didn't know i'd feel so sick
at my potential to betray,
never thought i'd be the one
to violate her trust this way.
if i would have said all of this
to myself at a younger age
the teenage me would slap my face
he'd be in such a fucking rage.
how could I be so selfish?
when did I become this cold?
when did I lose sight of things
and let my sense of morals fold?
i'm so burdened by these secrets
and this growing web of lies,
I wish that I could let them out
and take off this disguise.
I'm sick of seeming normal
when I'm screaming out inside,
why did I not realize
that we all crash in this ride?
Submitted on 2012-10-11 23:43:53
Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Rate This Submission
2: I dunno...
4: Pretty cool
||| Comments |||
Very nice, I enjoyed the simplicity and shortness of the lines.
It creates a kind of desperation effect.
I believe every man would have these feelings one time or another involved in an affair.
I don't like all compliments so I will tell you that somehow while reading I felt the 5th stanza stumbles through.
It just doesn't have the flow of the rest for me.
thank you for sharing
| Posted on 2012-10-19 00:00:00 | by
Reply to This
This almost sounds like it could be a song; it's so lyrical and deep. Good job :)
| Posted on 2012-10-12 00:00:00 | by
Reply to This
Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
Enter your search terms
Submit search form
January 10 07
I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my
[ Smaller ]
[ Bigger ]