This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Not Poetry But Intimations


Author: Snow9
Elite Ratio:    3 - 38 /21 /17
Words: 203
Class/Type: Random Thoughts /Passion
Total Views: 1669
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1201



Description:


An experimental piece to accommodate to my short-comings. I fancy it a proto-poem.


Not Poetry But Intimations



View 1:
Looking outside from the teacher-abandoned classroom, crows bathing on tree-tops in rain. Think: a body of meat and feather suspended midair as if it were nothing, gliding through nothing. Still amazes common sense despite logic.

View 2:
The watery pitch road reflects my umbrella-holding silhouette in the sky. And now the muddy footpath marbles whose edges are traced by the rolling water.

What I present is not poetry, but montages of a mass of experience juggling, nurturing which can be sprung out fine strands of beauty. But that's an art that half-eludes my vision. It's just a pureness in rain that washes up reality, that I can't give words to.

View 3:
A rain soaked foggy window cleared by occasional trickles of drops, viewing which I write. Think: what poetry can come out of this? Shapes outside cannot be made out, but blurry patches of abstract colours- red, green and all- mingling into each other.
Now water multiplies water as I catch glimpse of the lake through the water. Now the man besides window brushes the glass to look at the girl outside.... I feel an urge for vertigo.




Submitted on 2012-10-12 06:14:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  there is such pureness in the rain, but then it hits the ground, washes up into floods that contain the impurities of the earth ---

it is like stephen king said in "on writing"---

the best part of writing is when we just get a piece down on paper, we have created something, and no one yet has seen it...once it is read, it can be torn apart, critiqued, whatever,

but when it first pours from our mind, heart, pen....it is pure.

jacob
| Posted on 2012-10-12 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



196218