feelings from a picture -------------------------------------------
A heart lies between a
backdrop of severance,
butchered stabbing reminders
of all that could have been
and a cliff's edge,
demanding faith and
auspicious dreams to
accommodate the leap into
I have this quaint notion that language is meant for the communication and not the obfuscation of ideas. If you want to be cryptic, why not compose a crossword rather than writing a poem?
What is "a backdrop of severance"? Okay. so your picture has a knife in it. Take your picture away and how are we to guess what the term means? Between implies between TWO things. Your heart appears to be ON a backdrop but BETWEEN a knife and a horseshoe.
If this means anything to you, it is because you have an internalised code book which allows you to make sense of your allusions. Symbolism only works if the symbols have universal references, otherwise you are writing for an audience of one - yourself.
They detract. Here though, is an interesting juxtaposition...we have the heart, and what lies before it is the severance...the cutting off of a relationship...but afterwards, the heart has the hope, the wish for something new, better and stronger.
should be "and a cliff's edge"
but a nice balance in this piece, short and sweet.