Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: feelings from a picturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 39
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 698
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 321



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfeelings from a picturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A heart lies between a
    backdrop of severance,
    butchered stabbing reminders
    of all that could have been
    and a cliff's edge,
    demanding faith and
    auspicious dreams to
    accommodate the leap into
    new beginnings..

    Svw




    Submitted on 2012-10-12 08:30:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I have this quaint notion that language is meant for the communication and not the obfuscation of ideas. If you want to be cryptic, why not compose a crossword rather than writing a poem?

    What is "a backdrop of severance"? Okay. so your picture has a knife in it. Take your picture away and how are we to guess what the term means? Between implies between TWO things. Your heart appears to be ON a backdrop but BETWEEN a knife and a horseshoe.

    If this means anything to you, it is because you have an internalised code book which allows you to make sense of your allusions. Symbolism only works if the symbols have universal references, otherwise you are writing for an audience of one - yourself.
    | Posted on 2012-10-18 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]
      usually i don't like pictures with poems, at all.

    They detract. Here though, is an interesting juxtaposition...we have the heart, and what lies before it is the severance...the cutting off of a relationship...but afterwards, the heart has the hope, the wish for something new, better and stronger.

    should be "and a cliff's edge"

    but a nice balance in this piece, short and sweet.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-10-12 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196219

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    prison written by ShyOne
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry