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    dots Submission Name: in lieudots

    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 642
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 778


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    dotsin lieudots

    today, while my mind cools to rock
    on floors and surfaces which are not mine
    thoughts thrive, a rounding in my head
    of all you can ever be to me.

    one moon looms above
    a speck, but you,
    while reading this know nothing of heavy words
    in well-fitted envelope,
    I adore like a refrain.

    Your face,I have seen before,
    of persuading promises
    like how dreams do upon walking,
    with no route, searchlight nor block.

    so what am I supposed to know?
    of garnets, sapphires and pearls
    then splinter,
    a complete picture itself.
    with careful syllables pouring on holes,
    you became impossible,
    to write down.

    Submitted on 2012-10-13 23:26:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really like the opening line. I think you should change the word thrive into thrived so that it can resonate with that first line in past tense.
    | Posted on 2012-10-14 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good poem I take special comfort in reading it. Also I like that you use gems I actually have lying around to make your comparison. I collect rocks and now that yours has become stone I wonder if I will be able to add it to my collection?
    | Posted on 2012-10-14 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]

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