Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Awakeningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 622
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 764



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAwakeningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    By way of a footbridge we crossed a sea,
    as a flock of butterflies would soar the sky.
    A dream-memory, fulfilled in astounding words,
    like a pale flower crumbling over
    a coarse scar.

    We made it through the water's edge,
    at the end of things, more dense,
    more intrusive than vulnerability.
    And waved our flags to the seasons,
    only to be lured by a beguiling seashore,
    of love's barbed wires wrapped in,
    silver tarnish and glows into a lump
    of dreams compressed into morn.

    In between waters, sea bed and horizon,
    our steps turned to footprints and the page
    goes white.











    Submitted on 2012-10-15 21:10:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow again:

    of love's barbed wires wrapped in,
    silver tarnish and glows into a lump
    of dreams compressed into morn.

    these were really good lines, the imagery is superb. I hate to compliment you this much and not offer any constructive help but this really captured me. you're style is great. It will really mean a lot if you check my work.

    Tom

    | Posted on 2012-10-18 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]
      I crossed the sea by the narrow path
    With an eye ever wary of looming storm
    On the way I met a metaphor named astonish
    And we became a dream wrapped in an orchid with wings

    We drank deep of heavy words and discovered
    Gravity can sometimes compress a momentary
    Infatuation with glowing coals into diamond and gold
    | Posted on 2012-10-18 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196252

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Push written by JanePlane
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    To written by SavedDragon
    Incubus written by monad
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    Linger written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry