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When stare until your two eyes dry


Author: Dead Bell
ASL Info:    23/m/Ire
Elite Ratio:    2.42 - 48 /129 /125
Words: 183
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1309
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1096



Description:




When stare until your two eyes dry



When stare until your two eyes dry
Billowing winds the nightmares
That trouble your day to its sunny core
Unstoppable sun ah what your dreams ignore
Unshakable dreams. I cannot sober up
From the drunkenness of my thoughts
And practise all I envy with gleans
Who will practise me in my cold eternity?
What small promises mean the world
Into the new rooms who can say that I can share?
What bed may we marry and what blood will stain
My old shorts when you are into that shadowy hour
By my mirror I watch the ink of age underline
My own simple soul of this single being
Promises that heaven made a space for me begin
To seem diminishing into an uncompromising purgatory
Let me stay in here in emptiness and cool seasons
With dry leaves and sleeping trees
Sleep in the painted gutters of old tales
Keep the old head cool let the new mane flow
In these breezes of freezing pleasures
Assume all will go the way your future was told





Submitted on 2012-10-17 17:24:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  You have some very nice lines in here.

"Unshakable dreams. I cannot sober up
From the drunkenness of my thoughts"
and
"Let me stay in here in emptiness and cool seasons
With dry leaves and sleeping trees "

being my favourite but the whole work comes across disjointed.
Somewhere around the middle of the piece I got lost and started to wonder what I was reading.

I think this has great potential but I'm sorry, in my opinion it doesn't live up to it yet.

Thanks for sharing
LCL
| Posted on 2012-10-19 00:00:00 | by Localfreak | [ Reply to This ]


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