Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the silence of homedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 656
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 668



    Description:
       My father told me how hard it is for him to see all six of us go away and left him with my mother at home. Maybe this poem is not as close as to what he feels but it is what I felt when I heard him say those things. My thoughts on his thoughts..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe silence of homedots
    -------------------------------------------


    under a trouser cuff
    I saw the image of
    a bare skeletal body
    lying in silvery bedding
    of broken glass.

    It was a strange photograph
    of an embellished household
    muted by gunfires
    within bright cinder walls.

    The atmosphere was like
    a string instrument
    waiting to be plucked by
    children in dancing feet
    catching raindrops with open baskets.

    It is what it was now,
    A long silk night gown rose
    and fried scrambled eggs
    which is infinitely too much
    for those empty chairs to digest

    too much
    all at once.




    Submitted on 2012-10-24 21:41:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I believe this home of yours
    Really does deserve a wow!
    I doubt there has ever been a more
    Magical environment filled with
    Love, drama and the foibles and
    Triumphs of more amazing sisters and
    A very proud and loving Father
    | Posted on 2012-12-28 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      Aha not a love poem from you or something like it. This is really heavy but this works just as it is for me. Great imagery on the first stanza and the last 4 lines made a very soft ending to this piece but almost like a punch in the heart.

    | Posted on 2012-10-24 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196311

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry