[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: burntdots

    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 593
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 515

       A poem about unnoticed love requested by my sister Ria.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    when all lights fail to flicker
    and stars fall to fog his weary eyes
    when all is dim and daunting
    a sole candle burns to mingle
    on its own chained flame
    So is a heart who longed for another
    lost in the abyss of unwanted love
    for when the daylight overflows
    from his glittery glassy eyes
    the candle turns to an invisible light
    For he only sees it when there's nothing else
    burning to feed his earthly might.

    Submitted on 2012-10-25 16:49:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I cannot say I entirely agree with the format of this work. Personally I had difficulty reading it aloud.

    But, I love the words, some of the descriptions here light up my mind with visions of this lonely man.

    The tale is so true too, the lonely nights with nothing to think of are when lost loves haunt you.
    With the light of day and the call of duty there is no time to ponder so it will all build up again until the next lonely hour.

    Lovely write.

    Thank you for sharing


    | Posted on 2012-10-31 00:00:00 | by Localfreak | [ Reply to This ]
      "Own chained flame" really like this. Nothing more sad than unwanted love and you captured this very well. Do check out my page I also have a poem a little something like this.
    | Posted on 2012-10-27 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Bond written by saartha
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Fasade written by jackz
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    AI written by poetotoe
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]