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    dots Submission Name: Moon Doomeddots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 437
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2174


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMoon Doomeddots

                   The moon returned again tonight.
                   She tried to snuggle up to me in bed.
                   it matters not that I spurn her advances.
                   I told her I love another but she whispers
                   "I am here now! Where is she?"

                   This morning I confront
                   those accusing brown eyes.
                   They see the moon glow stain on my collar.
                   They know I was up all night
                   goggling my blue eyes at the moon again.
                   "please," I cry
                   "the moon means nothing to me
                   I was only lonely and confused
                   missing your brown eyes."
                   It is no use
                   I am doomed.

    Submitted on 2012-11-02 18:08:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "I am here now! Where is she?"

    This line goes really well with the picture. I'm not a fan of the second part though. I think you could drop it entirely. Only the first part under that picture would look gorgeous!
    | Posted on 2012-11-06 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      'moon glow stains on my collar'...that's one good line, I love the image it conjures.

    I love the idea of having an affair with the moon- and how romantic that might be.

    When we're missing our one, it can be so hard to keep missing.

    Lovely little poem, Dale.
    | Posted on 2012-11-03 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      Everything feels the same in the dark.
    | Posted on 2012-11-03 00:00:00 | by EmptyBox | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha, this is cute. I like the image of moon glow stains on your collar. It's refreshing to see the lighter side of my lovely moon.

    Well done Dale :)
    | Posted on 2012-11-03 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]

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