Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Zip Zip and Away :-)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 492
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3582



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsZip Zip and Away :-)dots
    -------------------------------------------


                        Your brown eyes are the brink of
                        abyss and I plunge
                        into their unplumbed depths . At the
                        center of madness I stand
                        cable in hand waiting to finish
                        the dream.

                        I see the sense of you unfurl
                        but I have no poetry left in me.
                        There are no glorious songs of freedom.
                        Nor do I possess even one small
                        enchantment in my hard used bag of tricks.

                        I am still the tree rooted deep
                        in the soil of our love.
                        Now I can only stand fast for you
                        I am the anchor to your zip-line
                        therefore as this cyclone of sponsored
                        despair
                        attempts
                        to tear love from our grasp.
                        Remember when the wind dies
                        I am all down hill waiting.
                        All you have to do is
                        hold on tight.




    Submitted on 2012-11-03 14:56:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The best from what I've read of you. The second stanza stood out the most for me. I am enchanted by this.
    | Posted on 2012-11-03 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      Going down would be like looking up.
    | Posted on 2012-11-03 00:00:00 | by EmptyBox | [ Reply to This ]
      Dale,

    i think this is the best one of all the poems of yours I've read. Good concrete imagery, original metaphor. Nice job!

    Annie
    | Posted on 2012-11-03 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196381

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Carry written by saartha
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Love written by saartha
    AI written by poetotoe
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry