Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: flamedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 779
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 378



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsflamedots
    -------------------------------------------



    Your fingertips
    hold the tip of a pen
    scribbling all over my skin
    like a white unused page

    words whirl up
    like hungry waves
    against your masculinity
    feeding my powdered dreams

    Oh you can write me down
    forever, right before
    the first peak of the indifferent
    sun.





    Submitted on 2012-11-05 19:05:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The idea of this is so enticing
    I think it should go both ways
    in other words you should get to
    do some of the writing too


    In this first part you use fingertip and then tip
    I like it better with just the one tip.
    plus this gives The idea of using the
    fingers themselves on the
    Skin more weight


    Your fingers are the tip
    Of a pen
    Scribbling all over my skin
    Filling my unused page

    Words whirl up
    In hungry waves
    Against your masculinity
    Feeding my powdered dreams

    Oh you can write me down
    Forever, right before
    The first peak of the indifferent
    Sun.
    | Posted on 2013-01-22 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      You made writing very sexy here. I like how this ends with so much passion. I think you mean -your- on the first line. I enjoyed your poem as always.


    --Tom
    | Posted on 2012-11-05 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196399

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Legends written by poetotoe
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    Stretto written by saartha
    Bre-anna written by Daniel Barlow
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One day older, One year wiser. written by Rhythmal
    Where is My Ghost written by ForgottenGraves
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Saying it to you with some gangsta shit written by Daniel Barlow
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry