Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: flamedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 731
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 378



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsflamedots
    -------------------------------------------



    Your fingertips
    hold the tip of a pen
    scribbling all over my skin
    like a white unused page

    words whirl up
    like hungry waves
    against your masculinity
    feeding my powdered dreams

    Oh you can write me down
    forever, right before
    the first peak of the indifferent
    sun.





    Submitted on 2012-11-05 19:05:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The idea of this is so enticing
    I think it should go both ways
    in other words you should get to
    do some of the writing too


    In this first part you use fingertip and then tip
    I like it better with just the one tip.
    plus this gives The idea of using the
    fingers themselves on the
    Skin more weight


    Your fingers are the tip
    Of a pen
    Scribbling all over my skin
    Filling my unused page

    Words whirl up
    In hungry waves
    Against your masculinity
    Feeding my powdered dreams

    Oh you can write me down
    Forever, right before
    The first peak of the indifferent
    Sun.
    | Posted on 2013-01-22 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      You made writing very sexy here. I like how this ends with so much passion. I think you mean -your- on the first line. I enjoyed your poem as always.


    --Tom
    | Posted on 2012-11-05 00:00:00 | by quicksorrow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196399

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    This written by Chelebel
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Bond written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Incubus written by monad
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry