Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Storm (working title)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.08 - 366/364/154
    Words: 50
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 759
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 374



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStorm (working title)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The storm passed-
    It's dark face shattered
    In flecks of red
    That nourish the
    Pale green grass

    The soil
    Licks the soles of my feet
    The silvery tongue of
    Kwakwaka'waka
    Smolders and sets
    In the stratosphere of my skin

    As tempest lips
    Press against the breast of earth




    Submitted on 2012-11-09 23:56:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Cant even imagine the reality of this. You depict a stark vision, the structure is sturdy, like towers, which I think is a great spine for this subject. Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing on that day, yet for those who experienced it close up I feel there is no comparison to how time must have stood still and went eerily silent. The total loss and reality of such destruction, death on such a massive scale, how can that make us feel alive in comparison but rather it seems to me that the hauntingly devastating effects would be enough to question ones own existence.
    | Posted on 2015-11-04 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      it reasons to be pretty but what does it mean to be pretty?

    I would look at the last three lines, something in the last 2 lines to be addressed.

    | Posted on 2012-11-10 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      this is beautiful and sad...

    and my heart was surely with you guys last week...and my thoughts still are...haven't been there in a long time...but was born there, and spent my formative first nine years in south Bronx...and my cousin and aunt live in Jersey..mike told me that where he works in Nutley looked like a war zone.

    glad you are safe, and could write this...

    it is a much needed write for those who went through it.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-11-10 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196422

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Push written by JanePlane
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    To written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In the end written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry