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    dots Submission Name: Storm (working title)dots

    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.09 - 366/363/154
    Words: 50
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 697
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 374


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    dotsStorm (working title)dots

    The storm passed-
    It's dark face shattered
    In flecks of red
    That nourish the
    Pale green grass

    The soil
    Licks the soles of my feet
    The silvery tongue of
    Smolders and sets
    In the stratosphere of my skin

    As tempest lips
    Press against the breast of earth

    Submitted on 2012-11-09 23:56:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Cant even imagine the reality of this. You depict a stark vision, the structure is sturdy, like towers, which I think is a great spine for this subject. Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing on that day, yet for those who experienced it close up I feel there is no comparison to how time must have stood still and went eerily silent. The total loss and reality of such destruction, death on such a massive scale, how can that make us feel alive in comparison but rather it seems to me that the hauntingly devastating effects would be enough to question ones own existence.
    | Posted on 2015-11-04 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      it reasons to be pretty but what does it mean to be pretty?

    I would look at the last three lines, something in the last 2 lines to be addressed.

    | Posted on 2012-11-10 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      this is beautiful and sad...

    and my heart was surely with you guys last week...and my thoughts still are...haven't been there in a long time...but was born there, and spent my formative first nine years in south Bronx...and my cousin and aunt live in Jersey..mike told me that where he works in Nutley looked like a war zone.

    glad you are safe, and could write this...

    it is a much needed write for those who went through it.

    | Posted on 2012-11-10 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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