Here are some of the graffiti attributed to mysterious Peristalsos of Kuna, furtive sage of the original Western Plains School of philosophy in nineteenth-century Australia, which in that region is now in its early years.
1. Most famous saying: All is precisely what it seems: complete bulldanga.
2. Only three things in life are important. Two of them are impossible to discover, and the third is beer.
3. If a man wishes to be satisfied to the very depths of his soul, let him first perfect his shallowness.
4. Life is like driving a cattle truck; for only when you stop for a breather can you smell what you're doing.
5. Humans are the only creatures who can imagine intelligence but are smart enough to reject it.
6. Life isn't a lot like anything else.
7. Learning is like beer, since whoever is full of it thinks they know everything.
8. Thinking clearly is the same as being utterly confused, since nobody can understand you in either case.
9. The flooded creek of life must dissolve all our dreams; but with beer a man can find some dry place where he may make water without interference.
10. In the afterlife we shall all be tormented by demons. Heaven is just for those who, during life, taught themselves to enjoy that.
11. Truth is like a kangaroo, for our courts of justice seek the one whilst being called after the other.
12. The Universe consists of three realms: the World, the Sky, and Mind. The two former have had considerable effect on the latter, but we are working on our revenge.
13. Happy are those of God's creatures which He created without consciousness, as we learn from the divine gift of beer.
14. Truth is like Adolf Hitler, since many of its followers think it is more important than being any good.
15. Truth is like a flower, since it flourishes so briefly; and it is like a seed, since it can make many flowers; and it is like a fruit, since too much of it can give you the shits.
16. Truth is like a mighty tree, since so many people hang off it without knowing anything.
17. When God created Truth, He told it to evolve like everything else except that it should never become good to eat.
18. A study of Friedrich Nietzshe reveals that his career and fate was all the result of German beer. From this we can learn nothing without sampling the various lagers.
19. We philosophers discover and describe the fallacies that have made Mankind great, and so enjoy the delights of vandalizing a culture which is too stupid to notice.