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we spoke french together in the afternoon waging no wars of attrition only sharing grooved things feeling proofed by the armor of our warmth the cold of your fingertips riddling the musculature of my back with shivers an Adonis eating fruit borne in a land strewn with deceit cultivating thoughts like an apple picker were it he who had seeded this land it would be honest, caring and plentiful skirted by primrose and periwinkle alike. instead here we are, rather aren’t, your hand in mine with the other holding a fine, and now we speak english well into the night, drunk with the promise of a friendship which would appear otherwise an ill omen, a broken bottle unshattered and very few solemn words of honesty I’m no more than trickery to maintain our appearance’s sake and I shall take the next exit |
This almost reads like a one night stand, wondrous truly but slighted by the religious repercussions of a fornicating relation. Whereas, were it you who had seeded this land it would be............ but despite our intwined hands in aftermath our other hand holds God's fine. Why this would leave you feeling guilty though I don't relate, but you are not ready for a marriage proposal, or even a declaration of undying love, and so you take your leave. Almost sad really, I empathize, or at least thats my take on this write. Bruce | Posted on 2012-11-17 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ] | This puts me in mind of the Adam and Eve story, in ways it could be read as a modern take- or excerpt from such a story, like a Paradise Lost kind of thing. | I'm definitely influenced by your description in terms of how I then approach my reading of the poem and I found myself going back to that and reading the poem in that context. It's interesting what it does when an author describes their work, or hints at it anyway, and how that effects the reading. Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that it was nice to have that here because it informed me, as a new reader, giving me a point of reference. I like the poem- its moods and movements and what it reminds me about us (as a race) and how we communicate. I like that I read it as three being present, rather then two but its almost like one is there unbeknownst to the other two, or something along those lines, which is what gives me that Adam and Eve feel- your last stanza feels like an intruding voice, an aside- like a serpent. Maybe out in left field, but that's the impression I'm walking away with. Enjoyed reading. | Posted on 2012-11-16 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ] | |