Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In the Woods.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BestxDeceptions
    ASL Info:    22, Female, Kentucky.
    Elite Ratio:    2.23 - 25/66/49
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 441



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn the Woods.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've been gone for so long
    in my cabin, nestled deep
    within the land.

    It's cold here
    and warm
    and bitter.

    There are no mistakes
    in my cabin,
    only reflections.

    Its been so long here,
    but I can't say
    that I've missed you.

    It's nice here,
    in my cabin
    within these woods.





    Submitted on 2012-11-18 01:00:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Thank you, and I appreciate the suggestions! Now that you mention that I do agree.
    | Posted on 2012-11-18 00:00:00 | by BestxDeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      Very short and sweet. I am no professional, so I won't go in too deep about this piece. However, I do feel like it could have been... breathed into a bit more. When using short, choppy lines, it does matter a great deal more what words you choose to use. For example,
    "It's cold here
    and warm
    and bitter."
    Could easily be changed to something along the lines of
    "It's frosty here
    and sunny
    and bitter."
    Although, you would know better which words would describe your feelings more so than I.

    My favorite part was:
    "Its been so long here,
    but I can't say
    that I've missed you."

    Anyway, good write. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2012-11-18 00:00:00 | by EndOfMay | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196476

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Fasade written by jackz
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry