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    dots Submission Name: In the Woods.dots

    Author: BestxDeceptions
    ASL Info:    22, Female, Kentucky.
    Elite Ratio:    2.22 - 25/66/50
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1185
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 441


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn the Woods.dots

    I've been gone for so long
    in my cabin, nestled deep
    within the land.

    It's cold here
    and warm
    and bitter.

    There are no mistakes
    in my cabin,
    only reflections.

    Its been so long here,
    but I can't say
    that I've missed you.

    It's nice here,
    in my cabin
    within these woods.

    Submitted on 2012-11-18 01:00:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Thank you, and I appreciate the suggestions! Now that you mention that I do agree.
    | Posted on 2012-11-18 00:00:00 | by BestxDeceptions | [ Reply to This ]
      Very short and sweet. I am no professional, so I won't go in too deep about this piece. However, I do feel like it could have been... breathed into a bit more. When using short, choppy lines, it does matter a great deal more what words you choose to use. For example,
    "It's cold here
    and warm
    and bitter."
    Could easily be changed to something along the lines of
    "It's frosty here
    and sunny
    and bitter."
    Although, you would know better which words would describe your feelings more so than I.

    My favorite part was:
    "Its been so long here,
    but I can't say
    that I've missed you."

    Anyway, good write. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2012-11-18 00:00:00 | by EndOfMay | [ Reply to This ]

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