Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Silencedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nwproud
    ASL Info:    27 / vancouver, wa
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 280/243/64
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 940
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1069



    Description:
       To keep quiet.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSilencedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A curse for the noise which surrounds us
    bends upon itself in the back of my mouth.
    Ingenuous lovers and rebellious youth
    Articulate the dissention we have come to believe in.
    For all that is spoken, sociable soldiers
    still pity the wordless, blind, and inconsiderate,
    there is little emotion offered, and none accepted.
    We stand our ground, there is pride and courage
    where words have served so little for others.
    If only for the argument we will commit to,
    is there no reason to simply stare, to shrug
    our shoulders in disgust for the logic and reason
    this society looks up to?
    We have already once given up words,
    the answers were ceded by force and ignorance
    when hesitance drew anger and hate.
    Instead, allow the correspondence to remain
    half-finished at our desk,
    there is no purpose behind writing,
    no fascination with the story
    in which life, the lie, is loved
    such that the world has stopped turning.




    Submitted on 2012-11-22 02:19:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi Tony,

    I hope you are doing well. This is so intricately enthralling. It's been a long time since I last read something that interested me as much as this. It's awesome. It sounds like the astringent social criticism I've always wanted to write but neither have I been able to do it nor have I the talent to do so. I loved the subtlety you achieved and the word choice. I must say that it feels like a poem which was one of the reason I liked all that much.

    As for the content itself, I would say that the "ingenious lovers" may refers to all those kids that get to be parents at such a early age and the "rebellious youth" could be a way to describe the young gangs, young criminals or young disruptive kids like the one who killed around 25 people in USA a couple of days ago.


    The "social soldier" might be all those people that for good or bad are in the limelight and wish not to exist or to be ignored as other have the allege privilege to.

    With the "little emotion offered, and none accepted" you might be saying that, or what I interpret is that values like the ones we once respected are gone and now it is all about money/business. And I happen to agree with that, if that was actually the message since I'm just speculating.

    As I said, I concur with the former idea because I see it daily. People have no common decency these days, particularly those who held high/important post. They are only interested in production and some have simply lost their human traits, to put it that way. And I seem to believe that your write deals or tends to deals with that subject matter, as far as I gather.

    As to the "words" having "served so little for others" appears to make references to war and with the values "this society looks up to" you again lmake some deprecating remarks against the new repulsive way society functions.

    Finally, I have to say that the ending is simple remarkable. I don't want to sound haughty though it reminds of something I once wrote.

    Well, I that's about it.

    Enjoyed this much,
    Wishing you well,

    Ethan Brody
    | Posted on 2012-12-16 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196509

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry