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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feasting Fires of Mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 75/182/213
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 823
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 513



    Description:
       I don't know if I should expand on it or not. It feels incomplete.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeasting Fires of Mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Empty consummation,
    giving birth to darken dreams and shades-
    Hollow; praying for a judgement that comes to cascade,
    freedom and rage.
    Lost; left behind the days,
    gathering the ghost of flame-
    Praying to be saved from the carrion fields carrying this plague,
    Crawling from the maw, the thoughts it starts to gnaw,
    relishing the brilliance of the light with in, soon it fades.
    Prying away what makes us so great in these feasting fires of man.




    Submitted on 2012-11-26 15:59:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I kind of like how the end word completely stands out from the rest of it. Gives it a final "this is the end" feel. Like that one last line is so final.


    Cascade, though, seems like too pretty of a word for what you're describing. Judgement doesn't cascade! It crashes! It thunders! But, that's just my opinion. The beautiful thing about poetry is that no one thing is right.


    <3
    | Posted on 2012-11-26 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]
      There seems to be an attempt at rhyme here. Nearing the end. It doesn't seem to coincide with the whole poem. It is kind of something I'd expect to hear at a coffee shop; dim lights and the smell of overly burnt coffee beans with an espresso machine whirring in the back ground. Not to bad actually. It isn't the best I've read on here, but still an enjoyable read. This line stood out the most, mostly because of how it rolls of the tongue.

    "Praying to be saved from the carrion fields carrying this plague".

    Ms. Tint
    | Posted on 2012-11-26 00:00:00 | by ARoseyTint | [ Reply to This ]


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