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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I AM NOT A DOORdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sbridges
    ASL Info:    33/F/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 119/119/63
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1206
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 872



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI AM NOT A DOORdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I AM NOT A DOOR

    I assume no authority
    over space
    My head fits a brain with areas
    That do not divide the area
    That unite ideas
    So that it can move around space
    in peace

    I make no neat
    imprint on the landscape's walled
    canvas
    My edges are uncut
    but you won't get
    hurt

    I do not stand for
    Passing IN
    and turning my back on the out
    I lead to no discovery
    but of myself

    I guard no
    secret
    That an extravagant key
    can get to
    And a knob does not
    turn me
    on

    I do not hinge
    on hinges
    For I am straightforward

    I fit no hole
    Although I fulfill
    my blurry role









    Submitted on 2012-12-02 00:29:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      what's that saying?

    "you make a better door than window"

    but a window you can see through, this blocks the view and makes it harder to see the speaker, denseness making it hard to pass through...
    and i agree with Jane...very uncommon metpahors...but then that fits with the idea that you do not fit a certain mold...the speaker makes no neat imprint..has uncut edges..and is quite edgy in style.

    it is an ambitious piece that challenges us.

    i do see the thread maintained here...and i like that...we keep going through these doorways...but have to break the door down at times.
    we often are what we claim not to be.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-12-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that you tried to avoid all the most obvious metaphors. You are an ambitious writer. That is clear. When a writer uses metaphor and symbolism, though, it is often hard to find meaning that is not so personal that others cannot relate to it. Recently, in a piece I wrote, I had that problem. How do you talk about something that is NOT what you are meaning but get people to understand the thing you aren’t talking about but really mean? Ha! Reading what I’ve written here, it just sounds silly. But maybe you’ll be able to make some connection to it. Maybe.

    What I’m getting at here is that I feel like maybe when you started, your poem was about not being a door, and that it might have maybe begun with the lines that come in now as part of the second stanza:

    “I make no neat
    imprint on the landscape's walled
    canvas . . .”

    This seems very “NOT door” ish. But the beginning seems almost like an afterthought. Not a bad one. OK, maybe not even an AFTER thought. But a separate thought. The thoughts in the first stanza just somehow don’t seem to “go” with the rest. Maybe those were the first words. Maybe they were the ones buzzing around in your brain, bumping against the skull, insisting to be set free, then the rest of the words were just you trying to fit them into a poem about not being a door. Or maybe (and this is probably it), I have no idea what I’m talking about right now.

    At any rate, this piece is interesting and thought provoking, if somewhat incongruent (for me).
    I was especially intrigued (and confused) by this stanza:

    I guard no
    secret
    That an extravagant key
    can get to
    And a knob does not
    turn me
    on

    If I were writing this, I would have never used “extravagant” there. Maybe “intricate” or “elaborate” but no. Those wouldn’t have fit (pardon the pun). Maybe “detailed”??? But this wasn’t written by me, to me or for me. Who can say why you chose extravagant there? Hopefully you, even if you only say it to yourself. I also might have had the knob turn part but without the “on”. Maybe just:

    No knob can turn me

    Or something like that. But that changes the meaning considerably.

    Even if the meaning of a “not door” that is not turned on by a nob is lost on me. . . it is sure to mean something to you.

    And that is what all this meandering about with words is all about. Both here in my response and in all the work shared on sites like these and pages in books etc. They mean something to the author. It is my hope when I write that the words, can then, in turn, mean something (perhaps wholly different, but still something, nonetheless).

    So, yep. I’m here to say, that some of your words carry through to me. Others are lost on me completely. I would assume that is the case often for poets like us. My goal though, I think, is to make most all my words carry through on one level or another. It is my goal and my frustration. How about for you?

    In other words . . . these words of yours are other than what I would have chosen, but I did not choose to NOt be a door. Perhaps I’m hoping for you to be a window, and that is not your desire either. Either way, I still think you are ambitious. And I admire that.
    | Posted on 2012-12-02 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]


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    196553

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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