[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sheddots

    Author: lebeauvide
    ASL Info:    24/F
    Elite Ratio:    2.29 - 75/295/165
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 691


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Eat my skin away from my bones.
    I just want to hear your whispers.
    I hope that you think that the beauty of my insides
    overshadows that of my outside.

    Take a bite out of my heart, won't you?
    Let my soul run over your lips.
    Tell me that I taste like heaven,
    and you'd like to take home leftovers.

    I just want you to be a part of me.
    Won't you bury your face in my inner thighs,
    turn on the faucet,
    and drink me dry?

    Your exoskeleton is too small.
    Shed it, and let me climb inside of you,
    while you shake the water off of your wings.
    Carry me away.

    Submitted on 2012-12-05 23:10:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed the way you wrote this. I love it when poetry is descriptive and imaginative in unusual ways. I feel it really brings the piece alive. I like how it was yearning, full of desire and want, pleading a bit, like the piece itself was tugging to be read. It flowed really well with the exception of this part

    "and you'd like to take home leftovers"

    at first read it sounded weird but as I re read it, it sounded fine, so I don't know if it was just me or it actually kind of stops you....

    This piece is dark and loving, and almost like a perfume.. with subtle hints of sexual tension.

    Overall great read... this is going in the favorites pile...
    | Posted on 2012-12-10 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]
      :) I really love this. Someone to climb under your skin and just love everything else about you. What a delight, how rare. I hope somebody loves me like this some day.
    | Posted on 2012-12-10 00:00:00 | by EmptyBox | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bond written by saartha
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Fasade written by jackz
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Wavelength written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Every..... written by jackz
    Linger written by saartha
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]