Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Worthydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nwproud
    ASL Info:    27 / vancouver, wa
    Elite Ratio:    5.62 - 280/243/64
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 911
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 982



    Description:
       would be great to discuss different interpretations with everyone here at ES.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWorthydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Our world was once the only time
    I cared to shut my eyes.
    Content with nothing else, simply the darkness
    enveloping my struggling thoughts,
    there was no choice but to surrender.
    Having been made to open my eyes,
    time is stopped.
    The laughter is monotone,
    shadows disappear each hour of the day
    and writing is difficult to achieve.
    The only book Ive read
    makes claims of irrational behavior
    as an advantageous notion,
    stealing away with recollections
    of a perfect love
    I possess, yet cannot understand.
    How is it my promises
    mean nothing?
    The words of a man are not yet desperate
    until he makes a promise
    he cannot keep,
    then his words are worthless.
    Time is stopped,
    the world must realize this,
    but I cannot make my eyes close again,
    I cannot be forced to forget
    promises not yet fulfilled.




    Submitted on 2012-12-12 22:31:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is a really cool introspective almost piece. That question "How is it my promises
    mean nothing?" is a really pivotal moment for me in the poem and sort of brings everything to a head right there. Great work man. It truly has a feel of creeping desperation just beneath the surface of a superficial calm.
    | Posted on 2012-12-18 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196602

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The World written by jjd
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry