[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Hello Moondots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 469
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 8405


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHello Moondots

                                  The Maiden Moon glows
                                  on cold concrete
                                  The wind howls me alive
                                  and the sun commits suicide.

                                  The better half of creation
                                  You pirouette before the stars
                                  As I stand in total silence
                                  possessed and in awe

                                  I am far into my days
                                  wondering lost in the
                                  wildwood ways

                                  Yet you are the precursor
                                  to dawn.

                                  I was in a dream
                                  while you were dreaming.
                                  And in this dream you dreamed.
                                  I was there yet dreaming
                                  And all our dreams
                                  were dreamed by two.

                                  A moment of mad
                                  A token of sad
                                  All in a world
                                  of glorious

                                  My heart is set
                                  to we are not there yet.
                                  And nothing will stop
                                  its rapid beating.

                                  There must be some limitation
                                  beyond mere flesh.
                                  For surely my heart has surpassed
                                  the cage of my chest

                                  Bare skinned honesty finds
                                  me in ascension with you.
                                  If we focus long enough
                                  to allow this thought
                                  its day
                                  you will see
                                  It isn't every day that the Moon
                                  stops to say hello.

    Submitted on 2012-12-15 02:03:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "Hello Moon", now where have I heard that before? I'll be reposting mine soon as I get the ending straightened out. I have 'pirouette' too.

    In all honestly the ending falls a little flat for me--the rest, well you could leave out the first bit and start out with

    I am far into my days
    wondering lost in the
    wildwood ways

    and from here on it soars.
    Maybe I just don't 'get' the ending?
    | Posted on 2012-12-15 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      this is just lovely Dale. I especially like the last stanza.

    " It isn't every day that the Moon
    stops to say hello." this is my fave line.

    | Posted on 2012-12-15 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Incubus written by monad
    Linger written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    This written by Chelebel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]