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    dots Submission Name: Choicesdots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 611
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2327


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                             I linger in the doorway of dawn
                             My shadow holds at bay
                             Those first piercing morning rays
                             I do not wish to disturb your slumber
                             Or my wide eyed wonder
                             As I bask in your gentle curves
                             We are on the edge you and I
                             Where dreams either become
                             Our lovers
                             Learn to fly
                             Or in a moment
                             Pass on by

    Submitted on 2012-12-15 05:33:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      We are on the edge you and I
    Where dreams either become
    Our lovers
    Learn to fly
    Or in a moment
    Pass on by

    This part... oh this part really got to me. I like when words, and phrases and sentences can become images, a couple of sentences can become a representation of our yearnings and our fears. As I read your words I look to my own experiences and it takes me back to those moments and those feelings. To being on the verge of something wonderful... if only we take the risk... it is all determined if only...

    I like how this piece has both literal and metaphorical interpretations. By standing "in the doorway of dawn" you are on the verge of those dreams becoming a reality but "your shadow" holding you at bay reminds me of our fear to take that leap, to have that faith in our loved ones, in our own desires and dreams, our own prophecies of the future. When we are in love we become soothsayers for a future we yearn to have. All of that can be lost in a brief moment if we make the wrong choices, if we move too suddendly.

    I liked this piece.
    | Posted on 2012-12-19 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]
      I have thoroughly enjoyed your romantic binge of late. How you long to dream in harmony with your lover. This is a new genre for you : no demons, no shades of horror. Much more a fanatical desire for spiritual union even beyond physical joining. Although your a little bit more wild eyed and radically suppliant than I I find I empathize . I have often wanted to share dreams with my lovers.

    | Posted on 2012-12-16 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      This is nice. Other than when you write sonnets this is more compact than your usual fare and I quite like it. You've magicked a moment in time, and I love that we are kept on the edge with you, there's no knowing how things will turn out, and somehow that's a temporarily safe place to be.
    | Posted on 2012-12-15 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]

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