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    dots Submission Name: Talk to Medots

    Author: EmptyBox
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 76/64/31
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 597
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 567


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    dotsTalk to Medots

    The silence between your breaths and my sleep
    has become unbearable.

    I've wandered up Court Street alone for two nights,
    sat on the banks of the ice-water river,
    slipped back in beside you, weary and freezing
    while you shifted, turning your face to the wall.
    Tomorrow you'll wake me up, asking for coffee.
    I'll rub your back; we'll have sex while its brewing.
    You'll check your email and then take a shower.
    I'll wait in vain to hear any real words.

    Submitted on 2012-12-30 03:12:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Men should be seen and not heard we
    Never have anything relavent to say
    And if we do say anything it invariably
    Gets us in trouble. No our job is to ask
    A woman how she feels and then pay attention
    | Posted on 2013-03-26 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
    I think the second stanza is where this really kicks off. In a way, it says everything that the first stanza says only not so plainly. The first stanza could be anyone talking to anyone. The second stanza has specifics, but doesn't give itself away too readily. There is your distance, stated, and the implications of his as he turns to the wall. The actual coldness of the weather in composition with your relationship's. Your want for more.

    I might be going out on a limb here, but I honestly think you could do away with the first stanza entirely and have a poem that carries the same sentiment only much much more strongly.
    | Posted on 2013-01-07 00:00:00 | by Aym | [ Reply to This ]
      Life and relationships have changed so much at warp speed time. We either roll with it or get left behind. That's harder as we get really set in our ways.

    Thanks for your thought provoking verse. It sure cuts the cake where you see all the layers and parts.
    | Posted on 2013-01-04 00:00:00 | by CrypticBard | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude women are cold these days. When did the polarity change? I like this piece, good imagery, very real, down to earth tone.
    | Posted on 2012-12-31 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

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