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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Useful Annotationsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyX
    ASL Info:    25/m/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 846/896/91
    Words: 430
    Class/Type: Prose/Comedy
    Total Views: 1765
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2824



    Description:
       Changing description, maybe that will work...





    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUseful Annotationsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Useful Annotations
    (humor is everywhere)


    ….
    …….
    Boredom!


    Behind an opaque pair of foster grants
    Atop a 5 speed Diamond Back
    In front of a vinyl wolf pack back sack
    Beneath a thick black skull cap

    Cheap humor is everywhere.
    Teasing me mercilessly
    In every dimension of living
    Through killing time in infinity!

    ….
    …….Yes!

    Like a young man
    that says “wow” while receiving head.
    Or an older man
    that moves his lips when reading a stop sign.
    Even a woman
    pushing a grocery cart of vegetables
    with lamb shanks hanging from her elbows

    The greasy haired middle aged men
    that never forfeit an opportunity
    to exhibit their indiscriminate pursuit of women
    Or the muscle head mutant men
    bulging in the mirror
    clamoring at themselves
    as they swing their dead weights around
    Among the obese on treadmills
    trying to walk off their mortality

    And enough health charts
    to keep an entire city fed for a week.

    Like every mouth in the magazine ads chanting repeatedly
    “Do you want to fuck me?”
    “Do you want to fuck me?”
    As the rest of us dance to the mendacious melodies
    In our automobiles
    As we drive past billboards that keep us drunk and jealous.
    Ride through outlets to the simple squire square deals.

    ….
    …..AH HA!

    I followed the vines
    and skulls
    on a hideously skinny man’s forearm,
    all the way into his pudgy girlfriend’s dimpled loins
    where his hand was firmly wedged.
    ....picture this
    ……imagine that
    the two of them to head home soon,
    put on Pretty Hate Machine
    and fuck in missionary for 15 minutes
    or until she goes numb or belches,
    or he can no longer keep hard
    while sustaining the stench of her gonorrhea
    or tolerate the unsightly warts in her shaven pelvic region.

    Its no wonder the birds shit on our automobiles.

    I don’t need a hall pass
    to walk these corridors of public mass
    When I am surrounded
    by paper silhouettes of automatic belly wigglers
    and the superficialities of generalities
    behind fucking up and getting grounded.
    The humor in you
    is more than you can shake your rectal thermometer at.

    I am just another craft in this cardboard cutout world.
    There are no exceptions, and that’s what I’ve found
    The cheap absurdity in all of us, makes it all go ‘round



    MBE 08-03-04




    Submitted on 2004-08-03 12:21:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      this was definatly different:) so true and humrous at once...this is incredible how you express how [censored]ed up everything is and still manage to leave people laughing...and possibly piss off the people who are in denial and think everthing is great >.< very good write...you have your own undoubtable style that's refreshing after reading all these happy-ass poems about love and all that [censored]. You really have no problem expressing how you feel...alot of people wouldn't have tried. good imagry feelings blah blah blah. nice write.
    you have a real perception of everything. I can't decide if that's sad or great?
    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-10-29 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I just read a comment that I definitely agree with. How do you think of these things? You're mind must work at a different pace, because I've never heard or seen anything like this. It's so hopeless. Is this really how you view our world, with complete disgust? Do you see no beauty? It's a genius style of write, how everything fits so perfectly, but it's sick to read. I don't know, it's mind boggling.
    | Posted on 2004-12-29 00:00:00 | by 8utterf1y | [ Reply to This ]
      "the superficialities of generalities
    behind [censored] up and getting grounded"

    That was my favorite besides "Its no wonder the birds [censored] on our automobiles". These two statement sum up the whole thing for me. As a true veteran of getting grounded, I can say it does absolutely nothing, and it just pisses ya off because they don't take time to try and understand your problem, they just take the superficial route by generalizing what you did as bad and punishing you. It's highly annoying, but pretty funny when you think of their stupidity and the punished actually knowing a better way to arrive at peace than the punisher. You pegged it.

    The human race as a whole treats all the other species on the planet completely horrible, so damn straight the birds should [censored] on our automobiles; they have every right to. It's funny when they find their ways of fighting back and what kind of inconviences it puts people into, but then you realize those people deserve it.

    There is cheap humor all over, and you expressed it well here. I agree with the masses here, I think you basically mentioned everybody. The best way to get through this existance is to have a sense of humor, and no when to laugh at all the [censored] that happens to you. You definitely have an excellant sense of humor. Nicely done, and you hold tight to that quill of yours.
    | Posted on 2004-12-22 00:00:00 | by eener | [ Reply to This ]
      My what an awfully dirty pair of binoculars you wear!
    Is humanity really this disgusting to you?
    Does it make you feel better to use sophmoric humor with random subjects off the streets?
    Why illuminate the ugly when you can zoom in on the beautiful with better machinery?
    Oh I get it...it probably bores you right?
    It isn't funny enough?
    Or it wouldn't make anyone laugh.
    I see what "humor" is for you, and I can appreciate the fanbase you seem to have and I wouldn't mind calling your work one of the finest tapestries of the universe...but in this special case right here, I think I'll pass.

    -Shoes
    | Posted on 2004-11-07 00:00:00 | by iShoes | [ Reply to This ]
      You've got some great phrases and vivid images, and I know you're trying for humor, but sometimes you go a bit too far. Shock is not always funny. Some of your images, so well written, are just for shock value. There is no humor in pathetic people and disgusting situatios. One could easily describe the skinny young men, who drink too much beer, and fall in love with Sally Dogface, only to lose all chances, when they puke all over themselves, but it ain't funny...(or is it?)
    Loved your poem, but must say as an old man, your grandchildren will laugh hysterically, when you start lip-reading those signs. Great stuff! Keep writing!

    Phil
    | Posted on 2004-08-14 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      That was exquisite. It's a favorite of mine for sure. I love the part about the old mad mouthing the word while reading a stop sign. It was absolutely genius. The whole thing, just laughing at the absurdities of our world. It was great fun to leave and left me laughing. a ++++++++++ i could go on and on. It was wonderful.
    love love, reid kat
    | Posted on 2004-08-10 00:00:00 | by reid kat | [ Reply to This ]
      "the cheap absurdity in all of us..." indeed! i got a good laugh out of this one, i gotta say. in this life, you gotta laugh to keep from crying sometimes. i particularly liked the woman with the lamb shanks hanging off her elbows! that just tickled me for some reason. this was way funny, and you gave me a good chuckle as i head home after an exhausting day at work! great job!
    | Posted on 2004-08-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Its no wonder the birds [censored] on our automobiles.

    yes, yes... that line tied the whole enchilada together... good [censored], man good [censored].
    | Posted on 2004-08-08 00:00:00 | by murf | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the only thing that keeps us sane in this [censored]ed up world is to look for the humor in the disgustingness of life. I actually saw a woman in the grocery store scratching her private parts and then sniff her fingers. I was afraid to pick up anything for fear she had touched it and contaminated it with her stink.

    The thing that really sets me off is the guys who think we don't know they are bald just because they comb their hair over from the side. We aren't supposed to notice. There is something inside of people that makes their own ridiculousness invisible to them while it screams out to the rest of the world.

    I think our brains can only react in one of two ways. It can become totally appalled by what it sees or it can grasp at the grain of humor contained and laugh it off.

    Lately, I feel like I am outside of life. Observing, seeing, shaking my head. I look at people and really hate being around them. People are inconsiderate and everyone thinks they have the market cornered on being the smartest, most important one in the room. All hail to the chief of fools. Yep, I am getting cynical.

    So laugh...enjoy. Look at them and say "There but for the grace of God go I." Rise above the stench and laugh. It beats crying.
    | Posted on 2004-08-07 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this.
    I like the way you show us what humour is for you.. I find these things funny too, stupid [censored]... but REAL [censored], yanno. No one can orchestrate it. It's life at its finest.. it's harshest and grittiest thigh slappingly funniest.
    I wish there wasn't laws 'gainst paying hobos money to fight. I think that's funny. You ever see those guys?
    *Bashbambollockbeerbreak*
    I love watching people. I like watching people like your ex-junkie and his lard-arse slapper. I like watching crazy people the most, I have a [censored] obsession with craziness. I love it.. someday I waan be committed to an asylum, that way
    A) I get a holiday
    B) I get my favourite kinda company
    C) I can talk to people in whistles and cheeps and no one bats a f'ckin eyelid
    D) I have little else to do -weaving ain't ma thang- so I can just sit and watch and write and write and write with my yellow crayons on my supersoft sugar paper...
    (wonder if you could paper-slit your wrists to death? Remind me to keep a spare bus ticket handy in case I ever get arrested again and the cops take away my shoe-laces)

    it's true...
    You don't need to BUY your comedy.
    It's right there...
    | Posted on 2004-08-05 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      HA! I really like this one...thew greasy haired middle aged men that never forfeit an opportunity...,or the muscle head mutant men bulging in the mirror...haha they'r all around me, man, and i find this very fvckin' funny...and quite valid...
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]
      there is cheap humor everywhere... like... in that dog's sweater over there... the old lady was trying to be considerate ofthe dog, but unfortunately, she missed the winter by about 6 months, and now the dog died of heat stroke, and she's giving him those electric shocks, with those things they use at the hospital, and she's yelling at him.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by WD20x2 | [ Reply to This ]
      I got no business talking to you!


    Well looking back at your last one, I think I get this in as much as, if anyone can read this and deny that they aren't in some way represented, they they are in serious denial.

    I'm at best the obese guy on the treadmill trying to get rid of my mortality, and at worse, nope, not sharing any more.

    I enjoyed the bicycle reference at the open, the lambshanks, magazine ads chanting, but the coupe de grace was shaking your rectal thermometer.
    I'm really starting to love this modern shi t!

    later bro,
    Sandy
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      dude, that last part was just wrong bro. sick, disgusting, appalling, and wrong. i like your style, though normally i'm not to fond of comical poetry.
    congrats, you've found your way to my fav list.
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by hybridmagnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      The humor in this is funny and truthful which makes me laugh even more. Love this part: "The greasy haired middle aged men
    that never forfeit an opportunity
    to exhibit their indiscriminate pursuit of women"
    LoL The world is crazy and you made it humorous and well worth the read in this. Good job. And as you said : "Its no wonder the birds [censored] on our automobiles."
    --blt
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought it was very different. Again you have brought what actually goes on in the world into your work. I really liked this one. By the way, play any good RPG's lately?
    | Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ]
      Love how you sum it all up with the one line: "It's no wonder the birds [censored] on our automobiles". A perfect example of how you take such a seemingly simple, mundane thing and transform it into a depth that rocks the mind. I love the cardboard cutout analogy. 2 dimensional paper mache made for a 5-year-old. Although there should be a parental advisory on that one :) You find the humor in the world, bring it back on yourself and throw it to the reader, saying.. Face it! Thanks a lot!
    | Posted on 2004-08-17 00:00:00 | by kblyric | [ Reply to This ]



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