Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Last thing

Author: quicksorrow
Elite Ratio:    3.29 - 33 /9 /8
Words: 84
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1284
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 555


Last thing

The one thing still there
out in the picture window
that her fingers feel is stone
as dead as the old man in vest
drinking vodka in state of readiness
to dive in hell.

After years of lunch
one afternoon she stopped
ordering noodles
I continue walking
wave on some kids and shopkeepers
it surprises me.

Nights are difficult. Does she think I'm real?

The one thing she still feels now
is stone
as hard as my dick.

Submitted on 2013-01-11 10:02:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?