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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Devourdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 495
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3571



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDevourdots
    -------------------------------------------


                        My love is dressed in tawny glow
                        and I have never beheld a jewel as
                        radiant as she. Stalking me with grace-
                        ful slide
                        I am a heart stopped man
                        paralyzed
                        by seductive woman eyes.

                        There is no escape nor do I try
                        as she whirls around me I can only
                        sigh.

                        Her lips devour me hard
                        as diamond and polish me
                        until my eyes glow bright with
                        mystic rays of transcendental light.

                        A tigress tempted by passion blood
                        she licks me sweet to tooth.
                        Smiling at my alarm she wins me
                        over with an angel's cajoling charm.

                        With her eyes she commands me rise.
                        Her kiss defines the span of my breath.
                        She devours me
                        real
                        heart and soul.




    Submitted on 2013-01-13 00:41:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There is some unusual construction but it seems to work

    =Her lips devour me hard
    as diamond and polish me

    the enjambment at hard makes it seem initially to belong to lips but I am pretty sure it is not the lips that are hard...

    Her eyes consume me real

    I'm not sure of the purpose of 'real' here it doesn't seem to do other than sound odd for me, but maybe you can explain?

    Also just a note,
    I'm pretty sure you mean angels and not angles.

    Nice consistent internal rhymes
    | Posted on 2013-01-13 00:00:00 | by timepet | [ Reply to This ]


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