Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Distancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 474
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2475



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDistancedots
    -------------------------------------------


         
         
                        The moon is a great chunk of coal
                        Sunk low and smoldering its way
                        Into oblivion. O' love
                        do you pity me not?

                        How will I survive the horrors of night
                        Without her beauty to sustain me?
                        The frigid stars are far above yet they
                        Have no grace without your leave to shine.

                        The cold cruelty of the world as I toss
                        In turvy topped sheets. I do envy
                        Those denied by you, they are not
                        Longing for just one glimpse of a lovers
                        Eyes to melt the ice that grows
                        On a soul
                        Alone.





    Submitted on 2013-01-17 03:39:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      !!! This reminded me a little bit of one of Rilke's Duino Elegies, in fact, his first one --

    ''Oh and night: there is night, when a wind full of infinite space gnaws at our faces.
    Whom would it not remain for--that longed-after, mildly disillusioning presence,
    which the solitary heart so painfully meets.
    Is it any less difficult for lovers?
    But they keep on using each other to hide their own fate.''


    O love do you pity me not? How exquisitely painfully sincere...

    Very nicely done.
    | Posted on 2013-01-20 00:00:00 | by expiring_touch | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196779

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Giving written by jjd
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    The Promise written by annie0888
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry