Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Wake Updots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkwarrior
    ASL Info:    27
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 60/63/33
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 502
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 936



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWake Updots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pain is caused by acts of cruelty
    When one should love with loyalty
    but instead chooses to demean
    with an excuse of questionable equality.

    What is the definition of honesty?
    Is it to cruise around the lines and seams
    sew its on pockets, in better ability
    as a worker of its own trade
    unfit for society.

    What debts to be made
    when you cant even handle the majority
    but your choice still remains
    with claims of hypocrisy.

    Do you smile at the sun in the sky
    say how beautiful the scenery
    yet cant admit what you see?

    Do you say its a nice shade of gray
    surrounded in green?
    And the grass that grows
    a perfect hue of ivory.
    Like the opening scene of a mystery.

    Even the stubbornest knows
    the difference between dreams
    and reality.




    Submitted on 2013-01-19 11:30:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Imagery is really solid... There is also a definite rhythm, and the ending works... I'd only tweak a few things, but I like it. Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2013-01-25 00:00:00 | by Jbills | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, Good write, alot of detail, liked where you were going with it, wish it could of been longer :) To me I think a dream is what your heart wants and wished for, but then the reality of it, its not even close to a dream, I do see the sun as its going down, Ill be icefishing and thats when the magic happens, sometimes, I do appreciate a sunset and sunrise, I catch the sunrise everymorning at work, I agree to love with loyalty, because without it we'd be pretty insecure, Anyways these are my thoughts on your write,

    theinforment
    | Posted on 2013-01-23 00:00:00 | by theinforment | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196792

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry