Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Dead To Me


Author: EmptyBox
Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 76 /64 /31
Words: 106
Class/Type: Misc /I hate you
Total Views: 1381
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 657



Description:




Dead To Me



Your effortless conversation with our waitress
was the last nail in our coffin. You poured questions
like she poured tea, and the 32 pens in her pocket
that she used for writing poetry and lunch orders
held your fascination in a way that my life never did.

Fascination... that is the perfect word. A brief study
in how to reanimate your mechanical eyes, how to
produce a favorable response in your autonomous
movements with the stimulus "I care, and I love you."
I should have saved myself the heartache, bought
an apron with pockets, and carried 32 pens.




Submitted on 2013-01-20 11:12:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  This is one of those moments in ordinary course of life that you managed to capture. I like how you tell the story with simple words. This one really touched me. Thanks for this one graceful piece..
| Posted on 2013-02-01 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
  wow !!! I like where you went with this, I must say a very good way to express them lifes moments in time, you captured it so well with words, hope to hear more of your creative writes

theinforment
| Posted on 2013-01-25 00:00:00 | by theinforment | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



196795