Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

By Breath of Moon


Author: DaleP
ASL Info:    57/M/TX
Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 631 /554 /330
Words: 117
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1532
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 4273



Description:




By Breath of Moon



     
     
                         The moon is but a breath
                         of frost-stain
                         Somewhere
                         Far beyond my bedroom window-

                         I am

                         awake tonight with my eyes
                         grown weary contemplating
                         the deep violet
                         of unending void.

                         Between you and I

                         A coven of stars beyond counting
                         has gathered no doubt
                         to plot our doom.
                         While for now I am safe in earthly
                         abode, here where the sting of
                         conniving stars is only a tingle.

                         What of you my love?
                         Are you safe?

                         The malfeasance of morning
                         without you beside me is coming.
                         And morning woe
                         does not play second fiddle to any
                         mere coven of stars.




Submitted on 2013-01-20 16:53:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  You have done a superb job here! I truly love the beauty with which you pain this piece. The imagery is astounding and the sense is heartfelt.

There is a type of magic in this piece. An articulation of affection…answers that a special someone, alone, can answer. The deep rumens of the heart….

well done!
jp
| Posted on 2013-04-24 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
  I honestly teared up reading this. There is a power in your words that is so unattainable yet extremely relateable!
Again your words have blown me away!

Fana
| Posted on 2013-03-17 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
  The picture is so clear to me. When you have questions like this there's no definite answer until you hear it from the other person. I think this is magical in the sense that at some point of our lives we have felt like this. This kind of longing, anticipation, love and a bit of sadness all summed up to this. Another outstanding moon poem from you is really a treat.

"does not play second fiddle to any
mere coven of stars. "..and I really like this line.


Jen
| Posted on 2013-01-20 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



196797