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    dots Submission Name: Sunset at baydots

    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 139/254/170
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 927
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 578


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    dotsSunset at baydots

    It wasn't splashed on. Or even spray-painted exuberance
    on the giant liquefied wall, it was
    as if your breath was caught between
    the looking glass, lit up
    by a flickering candle.

    I haven't seen the moon here - lest heart
    should jump out and rejoice
    at its feverish heartbroken twin:
    from once upon a time
    above a heaving ocean,
    when air wove fiery loops
    around flowers' necks,
    tighten them and finally -
    watch charcoal petals fall
    at our oblivious feet.

    Submitted on 2013-01-26 10:06:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Great imagery here very descriptive and subtle. I like the opening lines. Sometimes when I read poems I stopped immediately at the first two lines because I already know where it is heading. In this piece you made a clear invitation from the very beginning. It made me really curious. It is one of the qualities I find fascinating in poetry that it draws you in. You delivered quite well. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2013-02-01 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]

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