summa cum laude by expiring

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Submission Name: summa cum laude dots

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Author:	expiring_touch
ASL Info:	30/f/Hamburg
Elite Ratio:	4.03 - 137/243/158
Words:	78

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	692
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	517

Description:

summa cum laude dots

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What is this missing? There’s nothing beautiful about it,
The wistful gaze beneath the handheld moon
Under poetic lashes and sighs strewn
Across pages. Instead black stains
And face on fire, which burns
But doesn’t cleanse.

Oh how I wish to dance, forget my broken back,
my duck taped heart and my hot feet
in the humid air, I want not to care,
but duck tape doesn't hold

that long

in numbered circles.

Submitted on 2013-01-29 09:16:21 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
A nice expression of exasperation. I heard recently that there's only two things one needs in his toolbox, that being duck tape and WD40. If it moves and shouldn't then tape it. If it doesn't move and should then spray WD40 on it. ;)

| Posted on 2013-02-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
I feel what you mean but there is a lot more power to be released from these words, you use symbolism but you need to tie it together better, I can't offer you any solid advice and that makes this a useless critique probably, write more, I'd like to read more :)
| Posted on 2013-01-31 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.