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    dots Submission Name: summa cum laudedots

    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 672
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 517


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    dotssumma cum laudedots

    What is this missing? There’s nothing beautiful about it,
    The wistful gaze beneath the handheld moon
    Under poetic lashes and sighs strewn
    Across pages. Instead black stains
    And face on fire, which burns
    But doesn’t cleanse.

    Oh how I wish to dance, forget my broken back,
    my duck taped heart and my hot feet
    in the humid air, I want not to care,
    but duck tape doesn't hold

    that long

    in numbered circles.

    Submitted on 2013-01-29 09:16:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A nice expression of exasperation. I heard recently that there's only two things one needs in his toolbox, that being duck tape and WD40. If it moves and shouldn't then tape it. If it doesn't move and should then spray WD40 on it. ;)
    | Posted on 2013-02-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel what you mean but there is a lot more power to be released from these words, you use symbolism but you need to tie it together better, I can't offer you any solid advice and that makes this a useless critique probably, write more, I'd like to read more :)
    | Posted on 2013-01-31 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]

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