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Author: Snow9
Elite Ratio:    3 - 38 /21 /17
Words: 58
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1451
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 467



can't see my hand above,
but shards of images
glittering under the sun...

In the ghostly paperboy's cries
are scales unfaithfully left behind,
rubbers, already adults, her,
the dog-face and the unidentified cocoon.

Gasping for breath,
the sterilized syringe
only tugs at flesh
(puke to see the barren things
constituting you...)

still going by them.

Submitted on 2013-02-03 05:48:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  this sounds like a drug addiction thought thats my thought, like when I was reading it and what it spoke of, kinda seems like your expressing your life through ruff times or a bad time, depressed maybe IDK, but over all the write it self seemed pretty deep to me very deep, thanks for shareing your thoughts of life, God bless my friend

| Posted on 2013-02-15 00:00:00 | by theinforment | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey Snow, good to read something new of yours. I have been MIA or I would have commented sooner.

This has a eerie feel to it and the way it's kind of fragmented adds to the fear that the title lends. I think it's really good. I wondered a little about the arrangement of the stanzas. I sort of felt like the first and second should trade places, but I may not be reading as you intend it to be read. I'd like to hear your thoughts on that.

...the barren things constituting you...I really like this line.
| Posted on 2013-02-13 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]

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