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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Spear the Moondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Blue Monk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1547/457/118
    Words: 151
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 673
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 970



    Description:
       After a very long dry spell, I'm dragging myself back to the path of actually writing something.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpear the Moondots
    -------------------------------------------


    What lurks beneath the this or that
    and makes the heart to swoon
    the seed of doubt begins to sprout
    and vines ensnare what one might dare
    beneath the yellow moon

    Oh baleful orb who rules this night
    and casts such deadly pallor
    is this your cat which watches
    as our shadow flees your sight

    He melts away as spirits do
    once all the life is gone
    but ever watching, waiting
    til the baby's breath is drawn

    Awaken from each slumber
    blow the trumps of each new morn
    but stuck in ever darkness
    of a web are the forlorn

    Sweet Jesus man of miracles
    who gives the blind their sight
    may yet another child be guided
    through their endless night

    Yet warriors seek the Holy Grail
    and Roman spear which did impale
    all foes to conquer without fail
    beneath the yellow moon




    Submitted on 2013-02-07 01:02:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoy the meterical integrity throughout the poem. This is something that takes effort and I don't often put forth that effort but appreciate it when others do. I particularly, also, enjoyed the section that spoke of Jesus and the idea of us searching for things rather than the intangibles that truly have the power to transform -if allowed to do so. There's a depth there that I could mull over for some time. Enjoyed the reading.
    | Posted on 2014-12-14 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      When I was back in college it seemed we needed a different way to deal with the girls than the boys. I called this the "this and that " of it. But I wonder why our love is being challenged "vines ensnare". Then again I guess there's always some who would challenge that which makes love pure, it exposes so much effrontery.

    Calling the moon a baleful orb reminds me of DaleP's stuff. To me the moon is the moonshine that inebriates and liberates my soul. Kind of like the womanhood unsheathed, challenging the petty social and sexual pretenses that encumber it, revealing it's true inner beauty!! Then again there are a lot of cats who would moonshine argue that point.

    I had a hard time with the third verse. Perhaps "the babies breath is drawn" refers to some sort of rebirth, or maybe the baby is the product of our love which may yet escape the deadly pallor of his gaze.

    Morning is my favorite time of day, but I imagine for " the forlorn" It's more of a recovery from the night's bad dreams.

    Being an agnostic christian I appreciate his philosophies, which have relieved so many peoples suffrage by giving them a direction they can pursue. A communion with God so to speak which makes all their troubles irrelevant. Some people need this.

    As a warrior though I feel I have a purpose. That I can effectually challenge man's inhumanity to man and make a difference. Even be a mover in our race's social evolution. "All foes to conquer without fail" definitely touches my imagination's empathy even if somewhat technically unattainable. Too many other goals pursued by our fellow denizens. Foe becomes relative to attitude rather than realistic rectitude.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2013-02-12 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely done, Lloyd.

    I especially like the internal rhymes in the first stanza
    the sprout of doubt and dares ensnared...

    I like the image of the moon being cat-like, too...kinda like the cheshire cat and his moony grin fading into the background.



    You're back in fine form from what I can see.

    | Posted on 2013-02-11 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      The yellow moon sounds unhealthy from the beginning, and later the whole idea of Jesus (which merely his name punches up) fills the figurative scene with wholesome illumination .. then it seems to me that in the last stanza, folk have misinterpreted everything and turned it to profit-seeking again. But still the prayer for compassion and integrity and the individual's salvation is going up, since that prayer is all we have.

    I guess it's a vague story about the poem; but those are the thoughts it suggested to me. I am no christian, but I guess one doesn't need to be!
    | Posted on 2013-02-07 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


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