[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Hopeful Solitudedots

    Author: krs3332003
    Elite Ratio:    6.51 - 146/114/65
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 1993
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1341

       This is a story about how even Love can be deceived. They say Love conquers all, but I truly wonder if that's the case. Sometimes, I think, she needs a little help...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHopeful Solitudedots

    In the world of icy dreams
    an endless nightmare grows
    Through plains of frozen sanity
    it weaves its song of woes

    A lullaby of sweet content
    that takes the Warmth once bound
    It fills her soul with iciness
    and sends her dancing 'round

    Spiraling through the evermore
    with empty thoughts so pale
    Lost amongst the snowy ebbs
    Love wears a lonesome veil

    Angels weep from distant clouds
    they pray for her return
    Further through the wilderness
    she laughs at their concern

    Enchantments cast to sway the spell
    to break phantasm's chill
    Chasing through the twilight fields
    they kiss her heartless will

    A shield of sorrow sends them back
    through halls of crystal white
    Love cares nothing of the past
    but trembles at the sight

    A streaming ray of Hope
    from some unseen memory
    Gently so she notices
    this timeless entity

    She gazes into eyes of fire
    that melts away the grief
    A sword of truth to set her free
    and blind the soulless thief

    Taken in and banished back
    the nightmare ends its reign
    Love returns her gift to all
    forever to remain

    Submitted on 2013-02-10 11:14:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I've gotta agree with Blue Monk there, but I'm definitely gonna sugar-coat the pastry a bit more.
    I loved, loved, LOVED the rhythm of this - almost dream-like, sorta like a fantasy. I could almost feel the chill and cool rush of attraction, probably just because of how it's written.
    But, yeah, some details here and there could throw the reader off...though, perhaps it's selective.
    | Posted on 2014-10-08 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ]
      Very classy sounding, and like I commented on Dale's pieces, I like poetry about women and goddesses in particular. The use of "frozen" twice in the first stanza threw me off a little, but this has a nice roll to it. I also like happy endings.

    | Posted on 2013-02-16 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]