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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let His Touch Burndots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: simpleandgreen
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 39/141/136
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 679
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet His Touch Burndots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dear silly little girl,

    Romance is for the big leagues,
    Youíre still so young,
    Go out, enjoy yourself,
    Have a little fun.
    Heartbreak is for someone else,
    Definitely not for you,
    Go surf across the clouds,
    Paint the sky light blue,
    Sing among the stars,
    Trace constellations,
    Let the happiness of yourself,
    Be your motivation.
    Let his touch burn,
    A daring sweet sensation,
    The fire of the chase,
    Fuels this youthful nation.
    But please, little girl,
    Donít let him go to deep,
    Youíre too young for that,
    Itís your soul to keep.

    -Love, Green




    Submitted on 2013-02-15 11:09:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Beautiful. <3


    Wonderful message.


    One question: Why paint the sky light blue? It already appears light blue, most of the time. Was it a metaphor for having a clear, happy life?


    I agree with sacrites rating, it doesn't seem forced at all.


    Overall, I was really glad I clicked on this link. :)
    | Posted on 2013-03-01 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]
      Ok, just got sent to my favs list! I loved this read. Great flow. Didn't seem like you forced the rhyming which is good. The lines: "Let the happiness of yourself be your motivation." Amazing line.
    However, you should really go back and clean it up a bit. There were a few spelling and punctuation errors. Other than that, fantastic!! Thank you for sharing :)
    | Posted on 2013-02-19 00:00:00 | by 777sacrites777 | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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