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    dots Submission Name: a day afterdots

    Author: jeniecel
    ASL Info:    28/f/philippines
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 313/373/169
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 596
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 866

       when you miss someone you make up pictures on your mind...remember things that happened or yet to be..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa day afterdots

    the glass window, plain and shining
    like the glow of his eyes
    had caught the sun
    it struck seven in the morning
    picture me
    lying on feathers of soon
    to be a day-long rainbow


    the drizzle was hazard
    so were the unevenness of streets
    and vendors with their mangoes
    this place of well-lit coffee shops
    and towers covering the sea contain
    an abstract picture of cars-
    off the highway
    of everyone walking, all-day-stretch
    by coffee and toast
    temporarily locked into
    tracing words
    reminiscence of silence by clock
    this day brutally short
    but what really hurts?
    is the pattern of my evenings in soft low cliffs
    time gone
    a nip of love and cold
    to the touch.

    Submitted on 2013-02-24 07:52:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Vivid, evocative. Multiple images in it were really good, kinda having a sinking in feel.
    'a nip of love and cold'
    | Posted on 2013-02-26 00:00:00 | by Snow9 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so good Jen it is sweet, romantic and heartfelt. I love this one so much. The metaphor of the feathers and rainbow is transcendent.
    And the last lines a nip of love and cold to the touch. Yeah I feel that a moment in time so wonderful made more poignant by its brevity.
    If only we could have that moment forever.
    | Posted on 2013-02-24 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]

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