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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When The Fireflies Aren't Arounddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Snow9
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 38/21/17
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1016
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701



    Description:
       revised


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen The Fireflies Aren't Arounddots
    -------------------------------------------


    The placid evening emits
    from unwonted quarters around
    the street lamps that- yellow, white, red-
    serve as windows to a prehistoric glow.
    The eaten up progress of the year
    has brought to these oasis of brightness
    insects that dance as if to be
    last-moment will-o-wisps.

    Wait,
    a mosquito has made
    its way inside the train.
    I bend forward to reach out
    And... I miss it.

    But now, the train, from whose window
    I been watching those insects and torches,
    has made its way into the station.
    Time to get down.
    Creatures of mouse-holes
    to reinforce the reign of lamps.




    Submitted on 2013-02-25 07:29:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There's a sense of closeness to some natural mystery in your poems. Your use of light and nature to explore the inner life that entangles with the outer is a bit distancing but at the same time calls the reader closer. It's a great mix.

    I really like the little details in this one, the last couple of lines especially.
    | Posted on 2013-05-06 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]


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