Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Needs No Namedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Snow9
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 38/21/17
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 996
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 468



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNeeds No Namedots
    -------------------------------------------


    To
    -know the thing rushing through,
    gushing and pouring
    -locate your brother
    in a pin drop light
    -look darkness in the eyes
    -know that I too
    have a heart! & be able
    -say “I’ll be there”
    -feel even the void curved out
    by the impossible past….

    Then choke and fume with irritation
    Or/and drown oneself in music….
    While it,
    I am all that I need to know….




    Submitted on 2013-02-25 07:31:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the ambiguity of this, it gives a real sense of rushing emotion, a mixture - there's a real immediacy there.

    I also like the effect of 'To' on its own to begin with. That pause kind of sets up a mood, it's like a preparation.


    feel even the void curved out...that's a great line

    Fine poem, yes.
    | Posted on 2013-05-06 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    196960

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    ME written by jjd
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Genesis written by saartha
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Incubus written by monad
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry